2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is always born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.
15. In war it is impossible to die unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
16. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
18. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
26. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
28. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
29. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
30. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
31. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
32. An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
33. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
34. The population of alien planets speak American English as their native language or are able to learn it very quickly.
35. All space ships automatically come with gravity included.
36. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of year.
37. The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
38. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
39. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
40. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
41. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
42. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
43. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
44. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
45. All telephone numbers in America begin with 555.
46. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
47. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
48. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
49. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
50. No one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
